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Confusion

6/26/2014

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Picture        06/26/14 Hansa, a Bi Brigade's membersHansa
Dear Bi Brigade,

I'm 17 and very confused! This past year I began to recognize my attraction to some girls… well, one girl in particular. She's pretty masculine and carries herself flawlessly. I fell pretty hard. The thing is that I go to an all girls school and I can't help but think maybe I'm just desperate (I know that sounds horrible). But maybe I'm only attracted to her because she looks like a guy. 

I know I like guys, but for some reason I've always been sexually attracted to girls. I've always been more comfortable with girls but when I am attracted to one it's usually the short hair masculine type. Are bisexuals allowed to have a type? Am I bisexual or just desperate?

-SV

Cameron, 27, Writer and Bisexual Community Organizer:
A lot of bisexual people are only attracted to masculine people, or only feminine people, or only androgynous people. I can't answer the question of whether or not you're bisexual, but from what you've told me it sounds likes you might be. Too many young bisexual girls are told that they're merely “going through a phase”, which interferes with a persons natural process of discovering their true self. But I will tell you this: Falling hard for someone, being sexually attracted to someone, thinking that someone carries themselves flawlessly, doesn't sound like desperation to me. It sounds like real feelings.

Lynnette, 57, Host at The Bi Cast
If it were based on my experience as a young girl, I would say that you're bisexual. I suggest you explore some of the bisexual organizations websites for information and resources. such as BiNetUSA, Bisexual Resource Center and Biphoria in the UK has an excellent pamphlet for those wrestling with their identity.

Megan, 22, Registered Nurse:
I too had a lot of confusion when I first recognized my attraction to women. I thought that if I was truly queer, I should know definitively and precisely. Attraction is what you make of it, you are allowed to be the judge of how you feel, and that may vary or be experienced in different quantities and directions throughout your life.

Rose, 27, Non-profit Communications:
Good for you for starting to think about these things. Society has a very narrow definition of how attraction and relationships "should' work and who you "ought" to be attracted to. That definition has very little resemblance to how people actually feel and relate to each other. Finding out what feels right for you is up to one person – you.

Hansa, 40, Grad Student and Mother:
When I was around 17 I remember feeling attraction to all kinds of people, but thinking that I had to choose to be straight or gay. I did a lot of reading and there was very little on the topic of bisexuality, but I felt in sync with what I did find. I would say just take the time to feel what you feel and don't think you need to censor those feelings within yourself. Many, many people are or have been in your shoes, so don't worry.

Jeremy, 38, Mechanical Engineer:
I definitely think people of every sexual orientation can have "types" that they are more likely to be attracted to. I certainly have my own types. My best advice is to acknowledge who you are attracted to regardless of their sex, gender, or how they present themselves, and pursue a relationship with that person in an open and honest manner. The only way to find out who you really are is to explore and try things out. 

Rose:
For myself, I like to do a lot of research when I'm learning about a new subject, and I did the same thing when I was discovering my bisexuality. I inhaled every piece of queer media I could consume and read everything I could find about bisexuality. Some things she could look into:
  • Any local queer/straight alliance or SMYRC type of organization
  • Scarleteen and Autostraddle
  • What You Really Really Want (book)
  • Any LGBTQ friends she has that she'd feel comfortable talking about this with

Em, 24, Financial Software Analyst:
I think it is very thoughtful that you are trying to make sure this attraction is genuine. I definitely understand where you're coming from, and I think it is probably a common experience amongst bisexuals that the process of realizing it can be confusing as hell. I only discovered the terminology for my sexuality last year, and I'm 24. 


Picture        06/26/14 Stephanie knocks on the door to freedom!Stephanie
Stephanie, 28, Grad Student:
Firstly, as others have said, nobody can define your sexuality for you. You are attracted to who you are attracted to. And bisexuals can definitely have a type. I can tell you that mine is the exact opposite of yours-- I typically like feminine women and men! At 17 -and 97- you have every right to continue to explore your sexuality. My one piece of advice would be to consider this woman's feelings. If you do end up getting involved with her, remember: clear, honest, open communication is key.

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Bi Brigade featured in Affect Magazine

6/25/2014

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Picture        06/25/14 Bi Brigade members proudly show off the Bi Pride flag
Click here to read about how Bi Brigade was formed
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The Bi Brigade At Portland Pride! 

6/14/2014

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Pictur        06/14/14 Bi Brigade members holding our banner at Portland Pride 2014e
Portland, Oregon has one of the most vibrant bisexual communities in the world. I have said for years that Portland can do for bisexuals what San Francisco did for gays. 

This year during Portland Pride, the bisexual comunity has a very strong presence. The Bi Brigade will be marching in the parade on Sunday Morning and anyone who would like to march with us is welcome! We are meeting at SW 5th and Stark at 10:30AM sharp. 

Stop by the Bisexual Resource Booth at the waterfront pride festival during both days of pride weekend. We will be selling t-shirts and connecting people to the various facets of Portland's bisexual community, including:

Bi Bar! This mixer/dance party takes place every 2nd Tuesday at 8pm at Crush Bar. Admission is always free, 21+.

Bi/Pan conversation group. Takes place every 4th Tuesday at Q Center in North Portland from 7-8:30 PM. This conversation group made the formation of Bi Brigade possible and many of our members attend every month. If you are interested in joining BI Brigade, this group is the perfect opportunity to join our community! To be added to our e-mail list for reminders, e-mail bipanportland@gmail.com

Being Bi* is a series of group discussions and activities designed and facilitated by psychotherapist Morgan Fitz Gibbon, M.A. This is an Affirmative Therapy group for adults who experience sexual or romantic attractions that are not limited by gender.  The group focuses on issues related to being bisexual such as coming out, identity invisibility, discrimination in both the gay and straight community, dating, (non-)monogamy, sex, and more.  
visit www.bisexualtherapist.com for more information. 

 The Bi Cast is a podcast for the bisexual community that started here in Portland, Oregon and has grown roots all over the world, including England, Australia, India, New York, North Carolina, Kentucky, Washington DC, Michigan. This project is co-sponsored by BiNet USA,  a national network for bisexual organizations and individuals across the United States and encourages participation and organizing on local and national levels.

Happy Pride Everyone! Be safe. Be Bi. Be Proud. 




Picture        06/14/14 Bi Bar is a great place to meet and socialize with other bisexuals
Picture        06/14/14 Bi Brigade: Portland's Bisexual Community
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